Face to the Sun
by bored-now0809
Summary: Companion piece to the First War but can stand alone. Sirius fantasizes in Azkaban.


AN: Standard disclaimer...i own nothing.

This is based on an idea that I had one day that sometimes the best way to stay sane when horrible things happen to you is to escape from reality. I mean you can't do it all the time because otherwise you'll go crazy..which would defeat the point. But I digress. Hope that you enjoy the story!

**Face to the Sun**

Sirius sat in his cell, his face turned toward the window. It was a cloudy day. He rubbed his face with a hand; it always seemed to be cloudy in Azkaban. He sighed. It had been years already since he'd been sent to this…place.

There were two things that helped him keep him sanity; his thoughts of revenge and his dreams. Sirius stirred as the clouds began to part. Hopefully, today it would last longer. The clouds parted and the sun shone down on him. He closed his eyes and a small smile played on his lips.

Suddenly, he wasn't in Azkaban anymore.

OOOOooooOOOOOooooOOOOoooo

"Padfoot!" A four year old Harry Potter called running out to his godfather from the picturesque Potter home.

"Hey there Pronglet." Sirius said scooping Harry up into his arms. "What're you doing out here?" Harry made a disgusted face.

"Mum and dad are fussing over An'tasia." He said and Sirius chuckled. He stopped walking when he felt a tug at the bottom of his robes. He looked down into a serious little face.

"Da! I wanna be carried too." A little girl with black hair and Sirius' dark grey eyes said. Sirius' grin broadened even more and he shifted Harry a bit so he could pick up the little girl up too.

"Oi! I was here first!" Harry protested. The girl gave him a disdaining look.

"He's my dad." She returned primly and they both frowned at each other.

"Little help?" Another voice called out and Sirius turned around and felt his breath catch in his throat.

"Dori?" He asked hesitantly and she rolled her eyes.

"Don't be so surprised Sirius." She grinned at him. "I need you to bring in some stuff for me." And she stepped away from the car revealing her pregnant stomach. He looked so surprised that she frowned in concern. "Why don't you take Adhara and Harry inside and then come back and help me." He nodded and Adhara put her head on his shoulder while Harry prattled on about broomsticks.

"Sirius!" Lily called walking downstairs with a very well behaved little red headed girl in her arms. "Where's Dori?" She glanced at the squirming Harry in Sirius' arms and sighed. "How'd that one get out? Where's James?" She said to herself. Sirius grinned.

"Harry must've been looking out for us." Sirius winked at Harry and put both kids down.

"Now Harry you know that Padfoot and Aunt Dori are here for Anastasia's birthday." Lily admonished as she put the toddler on the ground. Adhara quickly ran over to the other little girl and the two of them wandered into the other room to play with James. Harry scuffed his foot on the ground.

"I know." He sighed and Lily exchanged a grin with Sirius.

"I'd better help Dori bring in the gifts." Sirius gave Lily a wink. "I know I'm leaving you outnumbered and all…" He trailed off as Harry ran into the other room where his voice was soon added to the others. Lily rolled her eyes.

"Now I know how McGonagall felt, facing off with the four of you." She muttered as she walked into the other room. Sirius grinned and walked back outside.

"I thought you forgot about me for a second." Dorcas said as Sirius returned outside. He paused for a moment just to look at her.

"Dorcas Meadowes." He said at last a smile playing around his lips." She gave a mock frown.

"Dori Black if you please." He bounded over and gave her a kiss, his hand resting on her stomach. "What was that for?" She asked while Sirius grinned at her.

"Can't kiss my wife now?" He said and she returned his smile.

"Of course you can." She replied before shoving a few boxes she'd unloaded from the car into his arms. "After we bring in the presents. We can't leave Lily outnumbered for too long." Sirius chuckled.

"Alright, alright." He got a better hold of the packages and Dorcas picked up the rest and they went inside the house.

"Dad! Da! Harry floated Griffy up the bookshelf!" Adhara said running to meet her parents referring Griffy her stuffed lion. Harry followed her with a scowl on his face.

"I didn't mean to." He said petulantly.

"I bet Prongs got it down for you though." Dorcas said to her daughter and Adhara nodded. "Don't be a tattle Addy." She said kissing Adhara's forehead. Harry grinned at the crestfallen look on her face.

"Don't tease Adhara, Harry." Lily said from the doorway holding the stuffed lion in question. Both kids perked up a bit. "Why don't you two go and play with Anastasia while we wait for Moony and the others."

"Okay." They both chimed while tearing into the room.

"I'll help with the cake Lils. Why don't you help James with our little terrors?" Dorcas said and Sirius grinned and went to the other room. The women exchanged a wary look.

"Don't corrupt them!" The called out and sighed as their husbands' laughter reached their ears.

"So when are the others due?" Sirius asked James while lowering himself to the floor.

"About half an hour." James replied trying to assemble a play-cauldron set for Anastasia. At Sirius' look James grinned. "You know that Addy and Harry need at least half an hour to be civil to one another." They both chuckled as Harry and Addy began a complicated game of their own creation and Anastasia watched them curiously.

"Dorcas is hoping that the next one'll be sweet like Ana there." Sirius said as Harry and Addy gave up on their game and began to roughhouse. Anastasia ignored them and picked up a toy car and began to wheel it around the other two.

"Oh?" James asked with a grin.

"I told her she had no chance. He's bound to be a hell raiser." They both laughed causing the children to remember that they were there and all three of them launched themselves at James and Sirius who began to laugh with them. It seemed too soon when the doorbell rang again.

"Remus!" They heard Lily and Dorcas greet their good friend. All three kids quickly stopped their game and ran out of the room.

"Moony! Moony!" They called.

"Well there's loyalty for you." James said with a mock frown. Before Sirius could answer everyone was back in the room with them.

"Moony!" Sirius greeted getting up from his spot on the floor and shaking hands with Remus. Before any other words could be exchanged the bell rang again and Frank and Alice Longbottom entered with Neville in tow. Neville was quickly swallowed up by the other children's games and Frank and Alice went to chat with Remus.

Soon the Potter house was packed. Sirius' cousin Andromeda had come with her husband Ted and their daughter Nymphadora. Nyphadora's friend from Hogwarts Bill Weasley had come with her and had commented that next time he'd bring his youngest brother and sister to join the crowd. Mad-Eye Moody had stopped in with Dumbledore to say hello on their way to a meeting. The whole McKinnon family was there as well.

"Where's Peter?" Lily asked Dorcas over the racket. Dorcas shrugged and Sirius frowned. It seemed like everything was slowing down. Something was wrong.

"He said he could come right?" Dorcas asked and while Sirius watched she winced in pain. He tried to move but he seemed frozen. The colors had all seemed to dull.

_Not yet. No. Not yet._

"You ok Dor?" James asked putting Harry down and putting a hand on Dorcas' shoulder.

"Oh fine." She replied and gave him a little frown. "Don't call me that." James smiled at their long time joke and the doorbell rang interrupting them.

"That must be Peter." Lily said and James went to get the door.

_I'm not ready to go back._

"Wormtail! You made it at last!" James called from the hallway and Sirius' blood began to chill when he heard their footsteps in the hall.

_I want to stay here! Not yet!_

Peter and James walked into the room.

_No…_

James walked over to where Lily and Dorcas were sitting with Adhara and Anastasia while Remus had scooped up Harry who had run over to where he was talking with Frank and Alice. Neville was playing on the floor quietly beside them. Sirius looked around in a panic. Everyone in the room began to look like ghosts except for the group in the corner and…Peter…

"TRAITOR!" Sirius yelled at the top of his lungs while lunging at Peter.

OOOOOoooOOOOoooOOOOooOOOO

The sun was gone and he opened his eyes again, once more in his cold cell in Azkaban. He felt a dementor glide by outside his door and he shivered. He had discovered that looking at the sun allowed him to dream. He would dream that Dorcas had never been killed on that damn mission and that their child had been born…maybe with another one on the way. He would dream that James and Lily were still alive with Harry and another one too. In his dreams they were all alive and happy…

He changed into a dog to better control his emotions. The dreams always ended the same way: whenever he saw Peter. It was because of Peter that James and Lily were dead. And maybe even some of the others at the party too. Sirius swore to himself he'd find a way out of here and once he did, nothing would stop him from finding that rat and giving him what he deserved.

OOOOooOOOOoOO

Please review! I could use the encouragement


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